top of page
  • Writer's picturekaren Marie

Fears, expansion, growth and being extraordinary.

Updated: Feb 17, 2022

Are you one of these people who is wanting a change in their lives, you know you are destined for bigger and better things, you are wanting to step out of mediocrity and live a life that is 'Full Power' in all areas. So many of us want to expand and grow whether it's our knowledge, our business or our bank accounts but what stops us from achieving those things and how can we take ourselves to the level we so desire?

The main thing to hold us back of course is fear, the fear of the unknown, the fear of failure, the fear of change, the fear of not fitting in on how society expects you to be, the list goes on. The good news is though fear can only hold you back temporarily and the only way to deal with it is face on, once you push through this barrier, small steps at a time, things start flowing.

To help understand these fears we need to find out how they originate in the first place.

To move out of fear (ego) based thinking, which is based on our most primitive skill of survival as a human being, firstly we need to understand what stage of psychological development we are at as this affects every aspect of our lives. it affects our needs, values and relationships. When we know this, our needs and values this will help us to grow and develop and see our life differently, and then we can truly expand in whatever area we choose. We need to be prepared to let go of our fear based beliefs & values that were ingrained into us from parents and culture that no longer serve us and get into alignment with our own unique self and that reflects who we truly are.

Are your needs being met?

Basic needs

We need to feel emotionally and physically safe, a sense of belonging, we need recognition and acknowledgement, we need to be seen and heard. If these needs aren't met we tend to feel anxious and fearful as these are an intrinsic part to our health and well-being. We need to check in with where there are unresolved conscious or subconscious fears. It's very important to have these established in our lives before moving onto our growth needs. From an evolutionary perspective this is us living in our flight or fight mode, the most basic human need for survival and if we are here we aren't able to look for opportunities for our growth needs. So it's important to have an established well being routine that encompasses all of our basic needs -see here for my full power self-care routine

Growth needs

So here is a need that enables us to live in full alignment with who we are, one where we honor our divine being, one where we live a purpose driven live, where our lives have significance and meaning. One where we live it 'Full Power'.

When we have that feeling of significance that's when we have realise that we want to be of greater service to humanity, we want change not only for ourselves but for the greater good of the planet too and when we find meaning in our life that's when we truly thrive and flourish.

The ability to move on from basic to growth needs depends on some important factors

  1. The level of psychological development of our parents - were they in survival mode and so didn't have time to explore their own growth needs. This may make you feel uncomfortable to explore your own growth, your family may not understand why you want to be different and you may start to play the blame game.

  2. Society and culture - within this context you may not have been through the psychological stage of individualisation. Freedom to explore your own values and ideals may not be encouraged as to not upset the stability of the community.

  3. The level of education you attain - This is through private, public education, reading, or foreign travel, if you haven't gone beyond the psychological level of your parents then you wont get to experience to what its like living in other communities, seeing other cultures and societies who hold different beliefs and values. You won't know any other way of being apart from the one you grew up in.

  4. Your courage to explore your full human potential, getting out of your comfort zone - It takes courage and bravery to explore these higher stages of development especially if your under pressure from family, friends and peers who through projecting their own fears want to keep you in the 'Comfort zone.

When we move from one level to the next, our needs, values and behaviors change as we do. We have learned our limiting beliefs from since we were toddlers, children, teenagers through conditioning from our parents and society by not having enough or not being good enough.

We must master these needs later in life or we will not have a strong enough foundation from which to explore growth needs.

Stages of psychological development

What stage are you at, What is your primary motivation, what is driving you and what do you need to feel in order to achieve a sense of stability and fulfillment?

Putting it into practice

The first work we need to do is on ourselves is the individuation stage of development by uncovering our fear based limiting beliefs that we learned in our formative years about not being able to meet our surviving, conforming and differentiation need and replace these limiting beliefs with positive ones. This is what is called personal mastery. This kind of mastery helps us reprogram our mind by establishing new neural pathways.

Here is a checklist of things we can ask ourselves to see where we are growing and where we are limiting ourselves with our fear based thinking.


We start with our past to our present, where have you been and, where are you now?


The possibility for the future, who you can become, and where you want to go.


The reality of where you are now and the hurdles you have to overcome


How do you manage your day to day reality so you can get the outcomes you need and get to where you want to go


Explore your evolutionary process, your commitments to continued growth and learning.

and now to your future with endless possibilities.

Crafting a future is not about having the best opportunities in life lay at your feet, it is about understanding your goals and the rules to become extraordinary, and pouring your heart and soul into it.

Goals are a mental construct, and as important as they are they do not define you, let them empower you.

The following is from Vishen Lakhiani - the code of an extraordinary mind - Becoming extraordinary is not out of your reach. All you have to do is follow these 10 rules.

1. Transcend the culture scape – what society says you should do, working too hard, following a path that isn’t for you, you’re doing it for somebody else.

2. Question the Brules – we are told to follow rules that were laid out by others, are they designed to help or hindrance, so you don’t upset the apple cart. Check in and what doesn’t suit, then change them so they do.

3. Practice conscious engineering – Hack your beliefs, models of reality, systems for living – habits and practices

4. Rewrite your models of reality – You can design what you want your reality, rewrite your model for living.

5. Upgrade your systems for living – upgrade, find new ones for living.

6. Bend reality – let your intuition guide you, follow your S& A, connect with your inner guidance/

7. Live in blissipline – level u your happiness, practice daily, gratitude , forgiveness and giving,

8. Create a vision for your future – dream big, scare you a little and excite you a lot.

9. Be unfuckablewith – nothing that happens around you, what people say can bother you or get in your way, because you are so clear and confident on what you want. What can you do today so you are rock solid in yourself?

10. Embrace your quest – Discover your quest, what do you aspire too, pursue with all your heart and soul. What are you chasing?

There is no greater time needed for transformation as there is now. The planet is evolving, we are evolving at a great pace and now more than ever people are 'waking up'. As the universe awakens our work here is to be a role model for generations to come, are you ready to be that person who is part of this great evolutionary process, the new Earth, the new paradigm?

I hope that you enjoyed reading my blog, did you put any of these into practice, what are your thoughts? I would love to know.

I am now offering a 'Full power' facilitation coaching program at an introductory price please click HERE for further details.

18 views0 comments
bottom of page