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  • karen Marie

5 ways on how to 'Live the life you deserve' with the correct mindset

Updated: Oct 11, 2019



Competence, confidence, courage, certainty and consistency - why it matters when you want to go for it.


I have taken the plunge and have began a journey of self employment, network marketing, entrepreneur, business owner and the mistress of my own destiny.... Dec of 2017 is when I decided enough is enough. If you know my story then you know I had a massive life shake up when I lost my baby, once the initial grieving was over and things were going back to 'normal' I found myself back in my post job however I was fed up of hours for income, a lack of fulfillment and no sense of purpose. I wasn't going anywhere and I wasn't happy about that. I had an easy job delivering post, security, a whole lot of walking (that was the good part) but total unfullfilment, I was drifting.I had to take action. I promised myself that I was going to to learn all I could about working for myself, having a business that was going to make a difference to peoples lives, something that lit me up inside, something inspiring not just for me but for others too and I set myself a mission on doing just that.

THE LEARNING CURVE - COMPETENCE

The good thing about my post job, including the walking each day, it offered me the chance to listen to podcasts and audible (want a free trial then click here) to some of the greatest entrepreneurs around. I listened everyday to a variety of them including Pat Flynn, Entrepreneurs on fire, Jen Kutcher -Goal digger podcast, Amy Portafield, founder magazine, start ups for the rest of us. On audible I have The big leap, Tim Ferris, The end of jobs to name but a few. This really opened my eyes. What I liked about all of them is that they took action, they had taken the plunge, it was no easy breeze, they had fallen, they had failed but the one thing they had in common is they all carried on regardless, they took action. Going out alone is not for the feint hearted, you need boldness, you need determination, you need to get out of your comfort zone and have to be willing to take action at all times. Now after listening to all there was, I mean I was obsessed on a daily basis and walking for 4 hours a day I gained a lot of knowledge. There is one thing listening to all the ideas but I learnt that to start you have to niche down on exactly what you want to do, now If your anything like me. I am multi passionate about mostly EVERYTHING!, I'll start one thing, then another and another (it's my ENFP personality type, always exploring possibilities and in Human design I am the manifestor generator which is also a multi tasker) until,you know, you end up doing nothing and revert right back to the CZ (comfort zone). THEN YOU HAVE TO TAKE ACTION. But before that comes this .....

MINDSET IS EVERYTHING - CONFIDENCE

I got focused and how I done that was with 1, the help of a life coach who helped me get real with what I wanted to achieve and 2 I had to go through some powerful mindset shifts and that is not always easy but absolutely necessary if you want to build a business or accomplish anything for that matter. You will have a whole host of repetitious behaviors that you've had from childhood and social conditioning that have to be overcome. I used a variety of tools to help with this from meditation, journaling (hello!), self awareness tools (see my other blog post on the 'how') and various courses that change your self conscious beliefs that you have picked up over the years. Was it easy? no not really, I had to drag a lot of my past up and re write my beliefs, I had to get uncomfortable as really that is the only way. You have to trust in yourself and you have to 'realise' your self worth, you have to be brave, you need courage and you have to believe that you are good enough (you are!) and that can be the most difficult for some, but let me tell you it is worth it. Your head has to be in the right place, you have to be prepared to step outside you guessed it, your CZ! You must be prepared to work on your personal development on a daily basis I would say.

YOUR'E NOT ALONE - COURAGE

The great thing is you are not alone on this journey, there are so many support groups out there, I have joined many from spiritual business owners, to boss babes, to mindset champions, health and well being guru's and life coaches - take your pick and of course there is me to help you, the eternal optimist, the enthusiast, the realist, the boss babe (I do cringe a bit at that term :-) the champion for the people, the one that will hold you accountable and I expect the same in return, the one that wants only the best for you. I digressed a bit there, so let me continue, it takes a courage, it takes commitment, it takes a certain kind of responsibility, you don't have a boss that pays you each week and you don't have the security, especially when you first are getting started. BUT the feeling you get when you are out on your own doing something that fills you up with joy and passion, there is nothing quite like it, the freedom, oh the freedom!! it reminds me of when I my son was about 6 months and we were on holiday, I left him with my parents at the dinner table and ran across the beach and into the sea, yeh It was dark, I had had a few margarita's and I was shouting i'm freeeeee all along the beach, but that feeling of release, that feeling of the shackles being off is like no other. I knew it then and I know it now.

RESISTANCE IS YOUR FRIEND - CERTAINTY

Say what?! some may think, like I did, that resistance is the universe telling you that this may not be right for you, that little voice in your head saying are you sure? isn't it easier to carry on what you are doing? That's your ego getting all protective as it naturally does when one wants to shift into something new. One thing I do know is I have had this happen to me on many occasions with my numerous ideas, but at some point you have to trust and then you let that resistance go especially if you have been doing the work on yourself, when your'e in alignment, when working on your values and niche-ing it down to what you really want to do. The resistance is there to help you in the beginning, it helps you to grow stronger each time that you fall and then gives you the momentum to succeed. Then is when you let the resistance go and you are in full on receive=ing mode.

FLOW AND MOVEMENT - CONSISTENCY

Now like I say this is no walk in the park, you don't just set up a business and they all come flooding in, no way. it takes resilience, perseverance and consistency to succeed. I am teaching English online to make sure the rent is getting paid each month (this is known as a bridging job, one that keeps you in the money until the consistency of putting into your own business takes off). I don't need to tell you that you do not need to be left high and dry without any cash flow. Let me tell you a little secret, I sold my car and everything out of my garage to invest in myself because I knew in my heart of hearts that this is what I am meant to be doing. But this is by no means what you have to do, but it is what I needed to do. In his book leap of faith by Gay Hendricks he says that we put limits on ourselves, we say that we can't do something, we even set ourselves up to fail some of the time cos it's a big deal to shift it to the next level and not all of us can handle that. You have to work out what you want, what is your why, what is your idea of success. It takes tremendous lady balls, action and movement to step up to the next level but with the right mindset this is possible. YOU just have to go for it, go for your goals. I live by my motto its not just the destination but the journey getting there and what a ride it has been so far!




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